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Joke of the Day

"Stealing my little brother's (fellow Redditor) original joke, hope he sees it and is pissed. What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas tree...? A Porky-Pine"

"Two guys walk into a bar The first guy asks for a glass of H2O. The second guy asks for a glass of H2O too. The second guy died."

"My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex Just this morning she asked me ""Is that the best you can do?"""

"Knock Knock. who's there? Netanya Netanya who? Yep... thanks Obama."

"What is Call of Duty called in Afghanistan? The Sims"

"My roommate said he was going to quite masterbating I asked how that was going. He said, ""I don't know man I just haven't been feeling myself."""

"everybody gets their 15 minutes of fame - so here's my first original joke! why is it impossible to surprise a snowman? .. he has ice in the back of his head"

"Why would someone name a dog ""pistachio""? Because they're nuts"

"I like my slave like I like my frees Coffee."

"How do you silence an Italian? Cut off his hands"