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Joke of the Day

"if ignorance is bliss then racists must feel like they're always on heroin."

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"""Dad, am I adopted?"" ""No. We haven't found anybody who wants you yet."""
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"If laughter is the best medicine, Jimmy Fallon doesn't need health insurance."
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"[on first date] I'll have an iced tea, please. Waiter: Sure. Ummm...anything for the balloon with a woman's face drawn on it?"