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Joke of the Day
"54% of IKEA purchases end in divorce."
Next Joke
"*intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*"
"What did the unemployed hippie say when his dad told him to get a job. Namaste Jah bless."
"Did you hear about the uncircumcised volcano? It was covered in smagma."
"My ex told me that Gaga's ""Bad Romance"" song reminds him of me. Now I'm glad I dumped him. What sort of idiot admits to listening to Gaga."
"Did you hear about the origami master who lost his job? His office went paperless."
"Cell phone. Recliner. Beer. Not at work. This homeless guy is living the dream from what I can tell."
"My girlfriend's dad accused me of being a pedophile just because she's 18 and I'm 32. It really ruined our 10th anniversary."
"And Jesus said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"". But John came fifth, and won a toaster."
"What do you call a furiously masturbating dinosaur? A Velocifapper."