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Joke of the Day

"Theresa May? Theresa Will."

"I've reached this point in life, where I have no idea what I'm doing. I've always been there, I just admit it now."

"What do you call a bear in the Arctic? Starving."

"Did you hear about the Navy hangar that doubles as a church? It's a house of warship"

"Ever wonder why they never show the film ALIVE in-flight?...... It's not because of the film's content it's because the people in the film are eating better than the people on board."

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""pneumonia"". ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course, you can use any word in a sentence. No more hints."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Panther. Panther who? Panther no panth I'm going thwimming."

"What does a grape say when you step on it? Nothing. It just lets out a little wine."

"What's the difference between weed and pussy? If you can smell weed across the room, that means its good."

"Why do we all need a Jew for a friend? Because he'll never give you a penny for your thoughts, he'll never put his two cents in, & he'll never drop a dime on you!"