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Joke of the Day

"There should be a drama series about women trying to figure out their mystery leg bruises."

"You haven't experienced awkward until you tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, but God knows how they got in there."

"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those that can read binary and those that can't."

"So french me was speaking in english with one of my friends, when suddenly he starts making fun of my accent.... I told him it was the only car i could afford!"

"want to feel old?? theres stil a infinite number of small wonders u've yet to experiemce in ur incredible life. so too bad. now u feel young"

"I traded my brother for an old Game Boy game I'm still not sure what that old guy wanted him for."

"Mechanical bull rides are a good place to meet someone with busted genitals."

"Hey, people who leave the volume on an odd, non divisible by 5 number, how do you live with yourselves?!"

"at library ME: This book wasn't helpful at all! LIBRARIAN: Why? What's the problem? BIRD: [mockingly] ""Why? What's the problem?"""