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Joke of the Day

"Two ions are walking down the street... the first one says I'm missing an electron. The second one asks ""Are you sure?"" The first one says ""I'm positive"""

"I feel like I have something to prove here. Judge: That's sort of how this works."

"I keep waiting for a musical montage to start so I can do something awesome."

"How much do Americans like racist jokes? Enough to make one President."

"I'm addicted to brake fluid... ....but I can stop whenever I want."

"What do you call three lesbians on a bicycle? A trike"

"Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? It made him mean."

"the guy at Subway just put Cheetos on my sandwich. can't tell if he's stoned, or he knows that I am"

"Why did the baker have smelly hands? He kneaded a poo."

"What's the pope's favorite power tool? A cathedrill"