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Joke of the Day

"A restaurant patron complained about the limited dessert selection, and an Irish man turned his head to respond. What was the complaint? **Flan AGAIN?!**"

"Obviously the Asian gentleman I saw flush the urinal with a karate kick doesn't mind perpetuating stereotypes."

"Well it took forever but I just paid the pizza guy entirely with the quarters I found behind his ears."

"How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb. None. Californians screw in hot tubs."

"Jesus loves you. A wonderful thing to hear in church. A terrible thing to hear in jail."

"I've seen such a change in myself this past year. I've really grown a lot. I need bigger pants"

"[Date] ""I'm going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there's six."""

"Have you seen www.square.com? No I haven't got around to it."

"Why didn't the Mexican go now hunting? Because he didn't habanero."

"When I steal a sweater it's called theft but when a girl does it, it's a sign of affection"