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Joke of the Day

"I've seen such a change in myself this past year. I've really grown a lot. I need bigger pants"

"""But what can we do for the people who love our crowds but hate the rides?"" And with that question The Disney Cruise was born."

"Why do white men shop at black yard sales? To get all their stuff back."

"I like my men like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer"

"Who's your Daddy? In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend ""How's your daddy?"" instead of ""Who's your daddy?"" and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes..."

"[spelling bee] Your word is ""spider"" Can you use it in a sentence? ""A spider has eight eyes."" [kid smiles] Spider. S-P-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-D-E-R"

"The thing about blind prostitutes... You gotta hand it to em'"

"Just saw a kid with a protest sign that said ""I AM VERY GOOD AT KARATE"" and I'll regret for the rest of my life that I didn't get a picture"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a bucket of shit? The bucket."

"I could be an Olympics commentator because I'm good at pointing and saying, ""You can tell she wants it."""