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Joke of the Day
"packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip unpacks 3 months after coming home"
Next Joke
"Helping a gang of squirrels buy remote control cars against my better judgment."
"A red and blue ship collided in the Mediterranean today. The survivors are marooned."
"So ISIS attacker hid IEDs inside his rectum and detonated it.. What was the last thing that went through this terrorist mind? His ass of course lol. P.s. This is from a true story"
"I was recently asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""Through a window"" is not the correct answer! thanks user/TheLuckyBarkeep"
"What's worse than a polar bear? A bi-polar bear."
"A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, ""I slept with a Brazilian..."" The blonde replies, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""
"If you take an Asian man and spin him around 3 times... Does he become disoriented?"
"New Neighbor: Hi, I'm Derek; I moved in downstairs. Me: I'm Spencer; I'll be looking in your window and judging your decorating choices."
"""Don't tell me how to raise my cat!,"" I yell at my 7 y/o daughter who's chastising me for baby birding a tuna sandwich into my cat's mouth"