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Joke of the Day
"A red and blue ship collided in the Mediterranean today. The survivors are marooned."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got six months"
"My friend is addicted to Time-Travelling But he reckons he can stop at any time."
"Did you know that nuns have to eat a banana with a knife and fork?"
"Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside."
"So I heard Rolf Harris got 5 years, 9 months... His favourite"
"My idea of responsibility is plugging my phone in at mid-day"
"Alcohol is like liquid Photoshop for real life."
"People who take things literally on twitter, stop. Wait. First take this tweet literally, then stop."
"Let them know how much you care. This holiday season, say it with a mass text."