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Joke of the Day

"I never know if I should trust a cabdriver with my sexual history."

"What's a terrorists favorite sex toy? [NSFW] A blow up doll!"

"How did Charles Darwin die? Natural causes."

"Punctuation is really important: it's the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse, and helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse."

"I made a device that lets me hear diseases. Hearing cancer is great and all, but hearing AIDS sucks."

"That's great about your engagement, promotion and new car. I grabbed the EXACT amount of hangers I needed to put away laundry. Samsies!"

"When CNN says they're ""breaking news"" they are, in a sense, right."

"The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room."

"Just bought a copy of a talking holy book An Audibible."

"I think always mixing up vocabulary words in school hurt my career options. Because I always wanted to be an archipelago just like ""Indiana Jones""!"