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Joke of the Day

"I made a device that lets me hear diseases. Hearing cancer is great and all, but hearing AIDS sucks."

"What type of car does a dinosaur drive? a priustoric!"

"*spits out animal cracker* This doesn't even taste like hippo."

"""These fries are too crispy"" - inventor of the microwave"

"As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: ""Let me see your phone"""

"My wife's returning today after an 8-day trip, so I should probably dampen the kitchen sponge and re-position it."

"Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he's solo."

"Mitt Romney dissing Trump is like when an anime villain from the previous arc teams up to help stop the new billion times more evil villain"

"I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. It's seven."

"The Edge falling off stage at that U2 concert... it's comedy on at least two levels."