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Joke of the Day

"60 Minutes would be a better show if they played that ticking noise the entire time."

"Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space? Because they've just had a big launch."

"In a cave, I found pictures of women's breasts, but when I touched them, a giant net fell on me. Damn booby trap."

"If anyone's seen me at my best, and seen me at my worse, and still accepts me for who I am, it's definitely the liquor store."

"I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... ""Come here Stay! Come here Stay!"" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd."

"It's so cold outside... I just saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!"

"At the bus stop ""Wow, the boy over there is ugly."" - ""That's my Son!"" - ""Oh sorry, I did not know that you are the father"" - **""I am his mother!""**"

"After the Thanksgiving dinner, everyone says (-1)/8"

"Rather than ever clean a window I just tell people they're frosted."

"How do you comfort a grammar fanatic? There, they're, their..."