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Joke of the Day

"If it wasn't for the 140 character limit, I'd be on Chapter 27 of my first tweet right now."

"I opened a window to let a fly out... and three more flew in, along with five mosquitoes, three ladybugs, a bird, and a Jehovah's Witness."

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was ""ARGHAGHRRAH!"""

"If you can read this please let me know because it means I blocked the wrong person."

"""I wanna rock!"" ~said the angry geologist."

"Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools? Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason."

"Two guys walk into a bar, Which is kinda stupid because you'd think the second guy would have seen it."

"God wasn't trying to get Marry pregnant with Jesus. Turns out he was wearing a holey condom."

"I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Fucked"