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Joke of the Day

"I was going to tell a mean joke about EMT's but I didn't wanna get... ... carried away."

"They'll continuously make Fast & Furious movies until it's a bunch of old men trying to get out of a grocery store parking lot"

"What's the difference between eating pussy and eating apple pie? You can eat your mom's apple pie."

"Did you know that commas can change the meaning of a sentence? For example : Mr.Walter is in a comma"

"What kind of noodles do they eat in the hood? Spaghetto."

"ME: It would ring, and we would... Answer it. TEENS: but, like, how did you know who it WAS? ME *staring into the distance* We never did..."

"The elevators are broken & I work on the 17th floor. Pretty sure I'm the first person ever to use the phone in reception to call in sick."

"What is it called when a cow is unwillingly milked? **Moo**lestation"

"Praying mantis walks up to his buddies with no head, ""Guess who got laid last night?"""

"A Buddhist monk was on the streets of New York and he stopped at a hotdog stand. The vendor asks, ""what would you like on it?"" to which he replied,""Make me one with everything""."