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Joke of the Day

"Why do they put cotton in the top of pill bottles? So black people remember they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers."

"Every Canadian child goes to sleep with a plush toy of the current Prime Minister to keep them safe. Justin Trudeau was elected because Stephen Harper was scaring the children."

"How many handles do a black dude's coffin have? Have you ever seen a dumpster with four?"

"It's only Wednesday and I'm already 94% done with this week."

"Water bears are so badass... if they fall into the pits at La Brea, the tar degrades."

"Best Fortune cookie ever: ""Person expecting sound advice from stale cookie probably make good dishwasher. Ask manager for application."""

"What sound does a doorbell make in China? ping pong."

"How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate pizza before it was cool."

"Some people follow their dreams, I follow lunatics on the internet."

"Where did I get my scarf? It's a CVS receipt. You love it? Oh thank you very much."