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Joke of the Day

"Legend of Tarzan 2: Tarzan meets other primates. He befriends them all. He teaches them to fight. It's a prequel to Planet of the Apes."

"What's the hardest thing about having a colostomy bag? Finding shoes to go with it."

"You know when you lie, things can get out of hand very quickly....... For example I heard about a girl who lied to her husband about how she got pregnant and now there is an entire religion."

"Capital Reward Stoners get stoned in Saudi Arabia"

"I just bough t a new pair of sunglasses... So anytime I make a bad pun, I'm gonna put them on and *puts on sunglasses* Look cool."

"Don't call it traditional marriage if it doesn't improve relations with neighboring fiefdoms"

"ME: hi handsome, is this seat taken? BUS DRIVER: yes, but you could literally sit anywhere else"

"Lmao at people who 'play Devil's advocate' like Lucifer doesn't already own all the lawyers."

"""I'm a diamond in the rough."" ""That's a whole lot of rough."""

"What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business? Underlay! Underlay!"