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Joke of the Day

"what do you do if a blonde women throws a grenade at you? Catch it pull then pin out and throw it back .. *blonde lady"

"The Eddie Izzard Diabetic Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-CAKRDTH"

"Just got invited to an ""alcohol-free"" wedding. The happy couple will be sad when they realize it's going to be a ""present-free"" wedding too."

"What do you find hanging from cherry trees? Your arms have gotten sore."

"So, I fell and broke my Matchbox Twenty CD . . . Tomorrow, I have an appointment with the RobThomatrist."

"That awkward moment when you're not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up."

"Want to know why I look terrible? Well, half of it is my mother's fault."

"Have you heard the joke about Baltimore? It's a riot!"

"I guess I'm getting old. Now when I hear ""Pour Some Sugar On Me"" I think of 2 things. Who's cleaning it up and I hope we don't get ants."

"Give man a jacket and he'll be warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it and he'll never go outside again."