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Joke of the Day

"Eight glasses of water a day? Nope. I do a minimum of sixteen. Keeps you looking young. Take me for example. I was born in 1926."

"the best thing about hair glitter is that you don't have to use it"

"Jewish Car Did you hear about the new Jewish car? Not only can it turn on a dime, but it can go back and pick it up too"

"David Sedaris on Willie Nelson What's the last thing you want to hear when giving Willie Nelson a blow job? ""I'm not Willie Nelson"""

"My daughter asked me if opposite day is real. I said yes. Because, you know. Opposite."

"Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow blower coming."

"""NO HOMO"" i scream at my dog Homo as he shits on the carpet"

"A man with a gun enters a bar... ...""Who had sex with my wife?"" he snarled. A muffled voice heard in the background said, ""You don't have enough bullets for that mate."""

"These boots. Were made. For Walken."

"Why don't they have a Phone Directory in China? Because there are so many ""Wings"" and ""Wongs"" they'd still wing the wong number."