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Joke of the Day

"What's black and eats pussy? Cervical Cancer"

"I blame 2 of my 3 DUIs on Jesus because I specifically told him to take the wheel"

"What is the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular thermometer? The taste."

"Daylight Saving Time ends today. So I have to remind myself, that the clock on my microwave will be wrong for the next several months."

"cops shutting down my giant SLIP N' SLIDE again because the traffic on the highway needs to get around us I guess"

"I would pay so much money to watch the Harlem Globetrotters change a baby."

"Before and After Sex Before sex,you help each other get naked. after sex,you only dress yourself. moral of the story? In life no one helps you once your fucked!"

"What do you call a disappointing white wine? Prosecc-oh..."

"Your hips may not lie but your pushup bra is a sociopath."

"What do you say to get the attention of a gold bar? ""AU"""