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Joke of the Day
"I would pay so much money to watch the Harlem Globetrotters change a baby."
Next Joke
"The town I'm in has chickens roaming around freely. I hear that our dog went chasing one a while ago, but nobody can tell me the date. I don't know when she ran a fowl."
"You ever hear the one about the super-competitive guy who joined a circlejerk? He came in first *and* third. (Ngaio Bealum)"
"An American tourist found himself in a sleepy country village and asked one of the locals the age of the oldest inhabitant. ""Well sir"" replied the villager ""we ain't got one now. He died last week."""
"Ever heard of jenkem? It's the shit!"
"While I appreciate that you're bringing sexy back, if we're not also discussing who took sexy away, we're only enabling future sexy problems"
"Top advice for resumes: Be VERY careful with placement of dashes. Ex. - First-hand job experience = good. First hand-job experience = bad."
"What do cows do for fun? They go to the mooooo-vies."
"Do people who bring bikes on the subway know about riding bikes?"
"My hard driving, asshole boss just quit the company, he announced he's moving to Taiwan! apparently he has a Taipei personality ... Sorry for the Taipo - /u/damn_wiston"