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Joke of the Day

"Success is like a clitoris. I can't seem to find it."

"Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me. He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz"

"Bad news: I burned my finger on the toaster. Good news: 1 down, 9 stupid incriminating fingerprints to go."

"Having sex with a pregnant woman is like putting gas in a car that you've already wrecked. That's why I pull into the self serve"

"I've been thinking about manufacturing and selling landmines disguised as prayer mats... ...prophets would go through the roof!"

"I was so close to a threesome last night Only fell 2 people short"

"Everyone: If you keep listening to your music so loudly you'll be deaf by the time you're 20 Me: What"

"So after the subreddit banning went down, I texted Ellen Pao asking if this was some sort of a joke. She responded ""Im SRS"""

"There are 4 states of matter... Solids, Liquids, Gases, and Black lives"

"Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right.... Me: yes, if I thought you were right, we"