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Joke of the Day

"Just walked in on my uncle ""taking a selfie"" :("

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"How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? A: He could feel his presence!"
"Standing in disbelief at an automated door that isn't opening for me is the closest I'll ever feel to having been born rich."
"I was walking down the street one day.. and I saw a man taking a gate. I was going to say something but I thought he might take offence."
"My therapist told me ""time heals all wounds"", So I stabbed him. Now we wait..."
"My Halloween costume this year: I'm gonna get drunk and make a space suit out of Bud Light boxes. When people ask who I'm supposed to be, I'll respond, ""I'm Buzzed Lightbeer!"""
"Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity."
"What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck."
"I had a Mayweather joke but,... It ran away."
"How does a Jew do the gardening? He moses lawn."