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Joke of the Day

"Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo."

"You've just made a very lazy enemy my friend."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's a really obscure number. You probably never heard of it."

"Why did the Chemist give up a singing career? He could not hit any of the ketones."

"I was recently asked if I'd judge Mr. gay UK. I said ''It wouId be my pIeasure. It's against nature, against God, and he's going to heII.'' - Jimmy Carr"

"What did the guitar and banjo name their daughter? Amanda Lynn"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick Question! Feminists can't change anything."

"[walks into bookstore] Me: do you have any books on turtles? Worker: Hard back? Me: Yeah, with little heads."

"Sometimes, when I don't want anyone to talk to me, I stand on a busy street corner with a clip board."

"What do you call an unemployed Rastafarian? Jah bless."