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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] Gonzo turns to Kermit and says ""It's getting late, want to go eat out somewhere?"" Kermit looks at Missy Piggy and says ""I'm having pork tonight."""

"When I was a kid, my parents gave me a drum set for Christmas. They let me bang them as long as it wasn't after midnight. They always slept better after being banged."

"Light a man a fire and you warm him for a night... Light that man on fire and you'll warm him for the rest of his life."

"""Always wear a pretty bra. The worst case is nobody sees it."" ~ Not an old Irish proverb"

"A tiger goes to the gym... ... wearing women's underwear underneath his workout clothes. When he does squats does that make him a crouching tiger with hidden drag on?"

"I'm pretty sure this new iTunes update is gonna turn things around for me."

"What do you call a helpful potato? A Facilitater"

"Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead."

"Winrar is not free"

"I can tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 17 minutes."