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Joke of the Day

"What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot with a vampire? It bit his neck sucked his blood and said ""Who's a pretty boy then?"""

"""I've found that I'd scream the exact same way If a piece of seaweed touches my leg or if a shark were trying to bite me."" - Kevin James"

"Alcohol doesn't make you fat... it makes you Lean... on tables, chairs & random ugly people...or sometimes floors"

"Villain: We meet again, Mr. Bond Bond: You don't remember my 1st name do you Villain: Sure I do. It's uh.. Bond: C'mon this is our 3rd fight"

"I've been texting random numbers ""hey are we taking salvia before or after church?"""

"The difference between dead babies and vegetables? I don't eat my vegetables."

"A Pokemon Go user walks into a bar.... He was too busy looking at his phone to notice it."

"My dick is good at math. What I'm trying to say is that it's the small things that count."

"How much does a Human shield cost? One life"

"How does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? By eating a Brownie."