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Joke of the Day

"How does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? By eating a Brownie."

"What's the difference between a hooker, a lover and a housewife? A hooker says ""Faster! faster!"" A lover says ""Slower....slooower..."" A housewife says ""Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."""

"How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Five. One."

"TURTLE: hey, you carry your house around too! HERMIT CRAB: i do. where'd you find yours? T: i was born with it HC: *scoff* ok princess"

"I was confronted by an angry man today. I told him I come in peace Apparently that's something you shouldn't say to Peace's boyfriend"

"Question and Answer Q: Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake? A: It did $100 million worth of improvements"

"NSFW Sex joke: New sex position called the bull rider. Ride a girl doggy style, grab her hair, and whisper in her ear ""I have aids"". See how long you can last."

"*sees a couple of vacuum cleaners making out* ""Ugh, get a Roomba"""

"[Chumbawumba concert] I get knocked down, but I get up again.. [whack-a-mole just goin nuts in the crowd] ""Aw hell yeah!"""

"What do you call a seamstress who makes things up? A *fabric*ator. It was a slow day at work..."