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Joke of the Day

"How do you die by heroin? When you are the villain"

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"What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common? All they talk about is the presidential erection"
"There's a difference between having a unique name and a regular name that's spelled wrong."
"A detective tries to find to where his clothes were stolen It was a brief case."
"She's so stupid she thinks a shoplifter is a very strong person who goes round picking up shops."
"Dear Sepp Blatter... There's only one Robert Mugabe... Yours Truly... Life"
"Today I learned to count in Taiwanese... TaiWan, TaiTwo, TaiThree!"
"If you had to choose between a billion dollars or world peace... how many bedrooms would your mansion have?"
"The worst part about the measles outbreak at Disneyland was still the price of admission."
"How do you make a small fortune in the movie industry? You spend a large fortune *ba dum tiss*"