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Joke of the Day

"If I got $1 for every time people called me a racist Black people would rob me."

"The new Batman movie wasn't all that good I know 12 people that won't watch it again"

"A physicist saw a man standing on a ledge The physicist yelled out ""Don't jump, you have so much potential!"""

"First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: You're lucky, mine's still alive."

"Sorry ISIS but we already have a religious state that nobody likes and is full of people that hate modern thinking: it's called Kansas."

"I bet Abe Lincoln only paid with $5 bills then as the cashier's face lit up, he'd smugly grin ""yep."""

"I saw a weird competition yesterday - The first person to successfully have intercourse with them self wins. So I entered myself."

"Donald Trump ""is intensely loyal...he will never let you down."" .... - his third wife"

"Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that."

"I'm sorry that I gave your baby a wine cooler. I forgot that I superglued a mustache on him earlier and thought he was of legal age."