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Joke of the Day

"The new Batman movie wasn't all that good I know 12 people that won't watch it again"

"What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don't know, and I don't care one way or the other."

"People with profile pictures of their kids. Stop it. All I can think is, why are these toddlers trying to add me on facebook?"

"Joined a gym once. 12 bystanders were injured. So much blood. 2 people renounced their faith. At night I still hear the treadmill screaming."

"tinder, huh? back in my day if you wanted a girl to notice you, you had to dress like a gargoyle and cling to the roof of her parents' home"

"Five year old Little Johnny was lost so he went up to a policeman and said ""I've lost my dad!"" The policeman said ""What's he like?"" Little Johnny replied ""Beer and women!"""

"What is black, heavy, and can't swim? A grand piano."

"A mom is having dinner with her daughter And her daughter exclaims ""Mom, I don't really like the red soup"", her mom replies ""Be quiet child-we only get it once a month"""

"My favorite kind of math is adding insult to injury."

"What did A and B look for at the beach? A ""C"" gull!"