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Joke of the Day
"I'm officially starting my campaign next election And my slogan will be ""Hindsight 2020"""
Next Joke
"85% of conversations with my mom is trying to figure out who the ""she"" in her story is."
"""I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE,"" I scream, as a sudden gust of wind blows the spider I threw outside onto my face."
"What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of co-ordination? HAND-EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"
"How many white girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? Pshh....white girls don't know how to screw."
"""I hope this makes them name a radioactive turtle after me"" Michelangelo thought as he painted the Sistine Chapel ""that would be hella rad"""
"You're going to look great at your prom. If you're thin and spent 3 grand on a dress. Otherwise you'll look like a dumpy Russian hooker."
"I don't know what I'd do without Twitter. Probably my work."
"Did you guys hear about that guy that was stealing everyone's power? He's a real Joule thief."
"I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes."