141999

Joke of the Day

"You are literally overusing literally."

"Jesus: Listen guys, why has someone written 'nail appointment' in my diary? Judas: No idea, J. No idea."

"The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys."

"How do you know if your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"Does anyone know how to get make-up off a dog? Asking for a friend, she's a bitch."

"How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard? Put it in the back yard."

"Why do stormtroopers never have long distance relationships? Because they'd miss each other."

"I'm not sure if I want to move to Sweden... but the flag is a big plus."

"The dogs bark but the caravan moves on."

"I used to watch TV, read the paper, and listen to the radio. Now I watch the internet, read the internet, and listen to the internet."