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Joke of the Day

"What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook? ""I just booked a cook for cooking the books."""

"My five year plan? I don't even have a five minute plan."

"I'm pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!"

"Playing the prequel to Angry Birds where the pigs fuck all the birds' wives."

"""The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on.... Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow."""

"""Cu Later!"" - a guy who wants some Copper, but not right now."

"Some think the economy is slowly recovering. Others think it's on the verge of collapse. I think about boobs mostly."

"Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road? To get to the Otherside!"

"It's pretty easy to get pussy with a puppy You just replace the S's with P's"

"What is dementia? I forget"