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Joke of the Day

"Hi, I'm a college professor. Years ago I wrote a terrible book no one wanted. Anyway you have to buy it for 80 dollars"

"You can't have everything, where would you put it?"

"If it looks like a duck & shrieks like a drunken banshee it's probably a white woman getting her picture taken in the club."

"How do you help a woman going through menopause You hit menoplay"

"Whats worse than being adopted Being adopted twice."

"My wrists hurt every time I drive through a tunnel with passengers. The doctor diagnosed me with Carpool Tunnel."

"Next time a dude says ""Pictures or it didn't happen"", punch them in the throat, take a pic, and tell a story about a guy you throat punched."

"How does one enter a brothel in Westeros? Through the Hodor"

"What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ? Your spinning me a yarn here !"

"Where there's a will... There's a relative."