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Joke of the Day

"My father thinks himself an expert at cutting through busy sidewalks. I consider his ability rather pedestrian."

"How would you try to sleep with a fat girl? oh, sorry, i misspelled ""why""..."

"Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read.... # **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**"

"What do you get when you cross a rhetorical question and a joke?"

"I suppose I should be thankful that I'm a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults."

"How many liberals does it take to defend America? Nobody knows, they've never tried."

"What's 41 times 11? I can't find the answer anywhere."

"You can pour up to 12 bowls of salad in your sweats before they kick you out of the Olive Garden."

"Q: How can you get out of a locked room with a piano in it? A: Play the piano until you find the right key."

"What do you call a slut during the holidays? A Mistlehoe."