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Joke of the Day

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, For you, no charge!"

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"what do you call a rhinoceros mixed with george washington? hell if i know."
"What's with this 'running with scissors' bullshit? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?"
"People can't drive. Take this guy behind me for example, doing 110 mph with flashing blue lights. What the hell is a ECILOP anyway??"
"While those 2 guys at the bar were just fantasizing about what they'd do with powerball winnings, I stole their ticket."
"*moves heaven & earth for her* *moves more left *more left *little right *little more right *moves heaven & earth back to original spot*"
"A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info she asked ""Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"""
"How do you know someone's an engineer? No worries they will tell you"
"Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing."
"Why did Angela Merkel ban use of crabgrass lawn treatments? She was told they would stop the ""German nation"""