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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock? Publicly traded stock will mature and make money."

"My grandpa once told me... If you want a girl to accept your proposal, you have to spend 2 months salary on a ring. I asked him, what the hell is a salary?"

"The new and best Rock band Iron Gaben"

"What's the difference between an oyster fisherman with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? The oyster fisherman shucks between fits."

"I've been attending Acronym Anonymous meetings recently. Or as I like to call it AA. I'm not making a lot of progress."

"Did you hear about the man who got squashed by a tree whist in between two bales? He's Hay Oak Hay now."

"In what situation would you need Nancy to come out of the ground? in an emergenancy"

"The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day. Wife: ""Windows frozen."" Husband: ""Pour some warm water over them."" Wife: ""Computer completely screwed up now."""

"First joke I ever told. You know what a hypocrite is? A guy that hates cats, but loves pussy."

"My daughter is making a documentary on the invention of the telephone, for a school project. I remember the time I did that, in middle school. Rings A Bell."