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Joke of the Day

"If it wasn't for auto-tune Jennifer Lopez would be selling rugs and little Puerto Rican flags out of a van at the intersection by the mall."

"What do you get when you merge Revenge with Grey's Anatomy? Graysonatomy."

"Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking his balls. The first guy says, ""Man, I wish I could do that. The second guy says, ""Pet him, maybe he'll let you."""

"What does the baker turned counterfeiter say? ""I make my own dough"". My sister Katie came up with this one."

"I can't think of a single reason to use an idiom If you ask me, they're for the birds"

"How do people with acid reflux complain? errr mer GERD"

"What did the soldier use to season his fries? A salt rifle."

"What do you call a pokemon with a venereal disease? A PENISSAUR!"

"#1 thing not to say to a cop Those look like the handcuffs your wife used on me last night."

"""You are what you eat"" thats funny, I don't remember eating a pathetic failure"