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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Zero, they will just beat the room for being black."

"Why was the Icelandic football player called into his manager's office? He had a cavity."

"In the old days you could send your kid to the store with a note to get your cigarettes. Now they need a mask and a knife."

"My wife asked me 'What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? And if you haven't figured it out by now you'll never figure it out will you.'"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better get some support soon, or people are gonna mistake us for nuts."

"What do you get when you put a bunch of roosters into a compactor? A cock block!"

"A game of cat and mouse, but it's just me chasing random strangers when I see them with donut boxes."

"You may have the last laugh now, but we'll continue this discussion later when Im alone in my car pretending to be a stupider version of you"

"Dear women: we don't give a shit about eyebrows. Love, men."

"At the liquor store: ""Hey, do you need help?"" ""Yes, but I come here instead"""