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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: ""Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live."" The man said: ""Can you do something for me?"" ""Yes,"" he said. ""I'll boil you an egg."""

"Psychiatrist to the patient: - Your case is clear. You have double personality. Please, pay bill $ 100 for the consultation... - *Keep $ 50. The rest will make the second one*"

"TIFU by accidentally playing music off of my neighbors speakers. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I don't get this joke. Can someone explain it to me? My sister's fiance is so short that he has trouble playing computer games. The only way he can reach the keyboard is if he lies flat on the ground."

"Windows: ""You may be the victim of software counterfeiting"" no Microsoft,it is you who is the victim of software counterfeiting here, not I"

"Which dinosaur walks with a limp? a Myfeetasaur"

"Who's the most meta player on a Football team? The PUNter."

"How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb? ""You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"""

"Whats brown and sticky? A stick"

"What's warm, white, and I drink almost every night? Warm milk before bed... Get your mind out of the gutter!"