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Joke of the Day

"If babies named Todd don't call themselves ""The Toddler"" then what's the point of having a douchebag baby name like Todd?"

"I'm lactose intolerant, too. Do the pills work for you? It's a crap shoot."

"What's worse than eating out your grandmother? Banging your head on the coffin lid."

"When I see babies who breastfeed crying I know it's because they don't have Oreos to go with the milk."

"If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-gong and died what would they put on his coffin? A lid."

"A mexican is on your front lawn bleeding out and calling for help. what do you do? Reload."

"Why are air hostesses bad at dating? Most men aren't interested in **plane** women."

"What does the narcissistic cow say? ""Meeeeee!"" I wrote this. I'm now a comedy writer. You are welcome."

"What do you call an attractive bee who goes to bars? A bar-bee!"

"What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention? A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)"