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Joke of the Day

"50 shades - only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds"

"What do neutrinos and I have in common? We're always penetrating your mom"

"I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray He's still alive, but his hair looks amazing."

"Toy Story 5: Jason Statham must deliver the last iPad to Uganda, in a prius, and he has to drift the entire trip or the car will explode"

"For anyone interested, you'll find my complete Windows 8.1 review below: Still sucks."

"Put the punchline in the title What's the best way to ruin a joke?"

"My grandfather died peacefully and in his sleep but the kids on his bus were screaming."

"anything is pocket sized if your ass is big enough"

"I say ""Hey man, I got your back."" He thanks me until he collapses from being spineless. I give his back to an infant. ""Baby got back."" I say"

"What do you call a nurse with flat knees? The ""head"" nurse."