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Joke of the Day

"Remember when people used to have to be in shape to wear tank tops?"

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they would just beat the room for being dark."

"Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly? Because they were Wright."

"Sometimes this earth seems so crazy to me. But I guess I should expect it from a bipolar planet."

"Whoever named the ewe really didn't like female sheep"

"My wife said to me, ""Isn't it odd how on our keyboard the letters ORPN have been worn out?"""

"Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!"

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator..."

"[presidents 2km race - finish line] OBAMA (checks stopwatch): just under 10 mins, did I beat the record? CLINTON: no, Bush did 9:11"

"I made eye contact with a British boy today and quietly asked ""Are you Harry Potter?"" and he and his Mother did NOT think it was funny."