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Joke of the Day

"TRUMP: I'm gonna lose, huh? RYAN: Yes. [silence] TRUMP: Thank God. RYAN: I know TRUMP: I'd be SO bad at it RYAN: We literally all might die"

"So I had this really great racist joke. But some black guy stole it."

"I wish I was an American so that I had the right to bear arms. I'd probably go for panda bear arms because awwwww, so cute."

"Life with erectile dysfunction is hard But really it isn't."

"I don't really like abortion jokes. The delivery is always sloppy."

"Welcome to kleptomaniac club. I see you already took a brochure."

"What is worse than ants in your pants? ......... Uncles."

"There are 60 cities in China with populations over 1 million. SIXTY. All they do is fuck."

"Star Wars Force Awakens joke Im Seriously concerned about new star wars. If this continues, Well then im very interested, How will the Rey with her training, run with Old Skywalker on her back"

"So my friends played a practical joke on me They gave me a candy bar & told me it was chocolate, but it was actually carob. Fucking carob terrorists!"