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Joke of the Day

"If you want a successful marriage, marry a dictionary. Sex always comes before yardwork and anal comes before responsibility!"

"What do you call it when a blacksmith makes something white? Irony."

"How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything."

"Getting carried away is usually fun, unless it's by a truck."

"I like my sausages like I like my women In bread"

"What's the difference between the Holocaust and this joke? The Holocaust was funny."

"The Sorting Hat seems like bad hygienic practice."

"Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure."

"Shoutout to the wife for stacking her shampoo bottles in the shower like she's on her last 3 turns on Jenga."

"I recently learned that anecdotal evidence is not scientifically valid A few friends told me how badly it went for them."