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Joke of the Day

"Friend said I should try new KFC sandwich. I suggested we cut out the middleman & hook me up to an IV of chicken fat."

"What Do You Call Bob The Builder When He Retires? Bob."

"What falls faster from a tree? A leaf or an emo? The leaf, the rope stops the emo."

"I was trying to chose a password for my email, but I was not able to... I had chosen BrazilianDefense, but apparently it was too weak."

"Sometimes pretending to be busy takes more effort than being busy."

"Told my kid he better not steal another candy bar cuz ""we don't have time to get arrested"" if you're looking for a parenting role model."

"I met a plastic surgeon at a bar last night... He specialized in male-to-female sexual reassignment surgeries. He was a pretty nice guy, but a total *womanizer*."

"Holy crap! I forgot to have coffee today! What else did I forget? WHERE IS MY BABY?!? Wait, do I have one of those? DO I HAVE A BABY?!?"

"My goal weight is for my waiter to ask me if I want a salad with my meal without bursting into laughter."

"Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,"