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Joke of the Day

"What does a girl have in common with a camel? They both have a camel toe."

"LPT: Easy way to soak up that extra alcohol in your stomach! Throw up on a sponge."

"No thanks hot air balloons. I prefer to fly in 75 ton metal tubes as God and the Wright brothers intended."

"""I'd have to say my two favorite things are sex, and not having my head bitten off."" -soon to be disappointed praying mantis"

"So I was in a race against a Prius the other day. I kept up for the first 100ft but I can only walk so fast..."

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? A boy scout comes back from his camp."

"""I hate burritoes!"" -No Juan ever"

"Donald Trump's first act in office will probably be to illegalize all shredded cheese. He will Make America Grate Again."

"Which musical instrument does Vladimir Putin know how to play best? The TRUMPet!"

"Wife: ""Did you know that some idiot paid $96,000 for Princess Leia's gold bikini?"" Me: [nervously tightening my robe] ""Who would do that?"""