199903

Joke of the Day

"The rare times my cat comes to me for affection, I run and hide under the bed, so she knows what that feels like."

"A Mexican Magician... A Mexican magician says he will dissappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos... *poof* He's disappeared... Without a tres."

"My 2-year-old ate the crust off her pizza but left the cheese and pepperoni untouched. Apparently I'm raising the Antichrist."

"What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants? ""Arrg, it's driving me nuts!"""

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar."

"Got a cease and desist letter that says I can't wear my hard hat around town until I learn how to wolf whistle."

"*Jesus hanging on cross next to thieves* Lean in guys, let's do a face swap"

"ER Doc: you know you could have avoided these 3rd degree burns by walking away from the explosion at regular speed Me: did it look cool tho"

"What does the Pillsbury Doughboy see when he looks down? His Doughnuts."

"Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry? They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like."