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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is the best! My girlfriend is a porn star. She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out."

"Here's one for all you Stalinists out there! Communist jokes are only funny if you share them."

"Did you hear about the sign language translator at Nelson Mandela's funeral? Neither did his audience."

"alarm (noun) -a device commonly used in the morning to invent new curse words."

"How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America? They had reservations."

"How do I know you're not John Cena? I can see you"

"Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed? To catch her false teeth."

"Don't confuse a Morning Person with a Middle Aged Bladder Person."

"Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !"

"How early do I need to start thawing the cat for Thanksgiving?"