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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is the best! My girlfriend is a porn star. She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out."

"So a guy walks into a bar... And yells, ""I HAVE EBOLA!"""

"Why are there only 49 Miss Black America contestants? ..Because none of them want to be Miss. Idaho"

"""You can't stand there."" ""Not there, either."" ""Nope that spot's taken, too."" -Ground hogs"

"A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need. Edit: missed a word"

"Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them."

"What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car? CELINE WUT R U DION"

"Sergeant Miller! Yes sir? I didn't see you at the camouflage training yesterday! Thank you sir!"

"What does your mom and your driveway have in common? They both have a GARBAGE box."

"My friend is afraid of fruit. So I told him to grow a pear."