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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between tulips and roses? roses hurt when your dick is between them."

"I set my password as 14 days. What did the computer say? too weak."

"What has a beginning and an end, but nothing in the middle? Life."

"""prepare for battle"" they said Yet they didnt prepare themselves"

"What do Eskimos get from sitting on the snow for too long? Polaroids."

"Just realized what I'm putting on my tombstone. If you're reading this, I'm already dead."

"A hammock is really cool until you try to get out of it. I'm going to have to live here now. Goodnight."

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Well, it's really nice."

"Why hasn't Nintendo released a Mario themed basketball video game? Because Japan isn't good at basketball."

"Everyone's excited for the new Minecraft movie. It's sure to be a real blockbuster"